I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize