The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
