I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
