I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
