Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
