Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
