i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
you made out with another girl for some wings
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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