forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
40s are totally the cure
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
