I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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