Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
