yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
