i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
