I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
