guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
