By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
