Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
