Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
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obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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