You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
