I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize