just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
