a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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