he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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