For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
