can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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