If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
