yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
