Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
