When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
