a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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