I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
