you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
