new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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