so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
