If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
