i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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