btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
