I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
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i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
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In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A bitchslap is in order.
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