I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I understand Curling. That high.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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