can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just invented taco cereal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
