i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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