i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
