She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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