He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
