I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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