Where is the hickey?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
