just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
