He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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