So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
