I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
