If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
