I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
