FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring me that man meat
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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