Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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