if only i could text you this smell
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
sex in a hospital.. check
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize
