I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
