There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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