not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
