I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
