I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
