we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
