we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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