It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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