he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Randomize
