I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He better not be in your backpack
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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