I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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