So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
